Allison and K-9 Loki

Its 3 AM and I’m awake, again. Someone recently told me I was Murphy’s Law as a human and they were right. If anything can go wrong for me, it does. Most days I find a way to deal with my crippling stress through inappropriate humor but some days the darkness wins. The darkness won last night and I cried myself to sleep.
Yeah, yeah, I know there seems to be a fancy lay out for how these bios are supposed to go but I have never done anything everyone else’s way.

I am Allison Anderson, twice divorced former cop, shocker I know, a divorced cop. I spent over 13 years working for the Inver Grove Heights Police Department, 5 of those years as an investigator. What crushed my soul? Icky kid cases is the largest part of my trauma. I will not go into detail because if you are fortunate enough to live a civilian life and get to believe that true evil does not exist, I don’t want to be the one to burst that bubble. I haven’t gotten to live in that utopia for decades and the weight of what I have seen, heard and experienced weighs me down. It makes my muscles lock up, it causes a ton of chronic pain, reoccurring health problems, constant headaches, serious lack of sleep, more anxiety than any human body knows how to handle and affects every aspect of my life.

Starting my career in 2003 at 22 year old, I was elated, I had landed my dream job!!!! Flash forward to 2016 and I’m throwing up in the shower getting ready for work, sobbing uncontrollably when I put my uniform on, being told by law enforcement support groups posted on the employee board at work that I was “too far gone” and they couldn’t help me. So who was I supposed to turn to? Where was I supposed to go? Well I had stopped at Solidiers 6’s first Christmas display in 2015 after Ed got Rex. I knew of Ed, he worked at a neighboring department while I worked at IGHPD. We weren’t friends then but I was desperate. When you are crying in uniform, driving a squad car and trying to escape the police department that is adding to your stress, where do you go? I went to Ed and Dana’s. Ed listened without judgment as snot ran down my face, he hugged me as I ugly cried and calmly told me that I was not okay to be working. Dana arrived home while this was happening and continued to comfort me. They got me through hell and have been with me every step of the way since. Whether it was them allowing me to be a board member when I had lost my career, allowing me to step down when it became too much for me, allowing me to foster service dogs and puppies for them and allowing me to step into and out of Soliders 6 events over the last 6 years as my ability to do so shifted and changed.
They have tried over the years to provide me with a service dog, but I am stubborn. I never thought I deserved it. I always wanted the dog to go to someone more deserving than me. This year a former IGHPD partner and his wife had the cutest little fluff ball of a puppy unexpectedly come into their lives and I knew. As my life was spiraling out of control and the negative was winning, I knew. I knew I needed something positive in my life. I needed an outlet to put my energy into, something to love. As my panic attacks in public became more frequent and my ability to be in public in general lessened, I knew. Why did I write my bio this way? Because I think it is important to put this stuff out there. PTSD is not a neat, clean package. We stumble, we fall, we ramble, and we hurt. The important thing is that we find a reason every day to keep healing, to keep moving forward and to keep winning this battle. I am beyond excited to meet my battle buddy. He is fluffy and a non-traditional service dog breed, so Loki and I will be perfect together.